Building and maintaining effective communication with an ex-partner, husband or wife following a family break up, or Divorce can be extremely difficult, particularly if the separation or circumstances of the break up were contentious. An acrimonious separation or Divorce can leave one or both people, with a wide range of feelings, varying greatly from relief, regret, sadness, anger, disbelief, or disappointment. Over time, these feelings can subside, but they can also manifest into hostility, and bitterness towards the other person. These pent up feelings can be kept ‘hidden’ away in the subconscious mind, but they can often quickly ‘bubble to the surface’ with any direct, or indirect contact with the other person, which can cause anxiety, tension, pent up stress, and this can be the cause of arguments, and result in poor communication with their ex-partner.
Debbie Hillman from Kent Family Mediation explained, “Arguments and poor communication between separated parents can have a negative and detrimental impact on their children. The couple may no longer be in a relationship together, but they will both always be parents to their children, no matter what age the children are. One day they may also be Grandparents, so they will both always have a role in their children’s lives.
Debbie goes on to point out that, “Research has shown that children need and deserve to have, the love, care, and support of both parents. It is therefore essential that separated parents are able to put their differences aside and communicate effectively enough to be able to work together to successfully co-parent their children.”